![]() ![]() I lived the long nights of feedings, the preschool battles of will, the start of school and worrying if she could handle all the new transitions. I am aware and incredibly frightened by the speed. I fully recognize this evaporation of time. I used the app for vacations, celebrations, and special dates but apparently, you could also use the apps to countdown how many weeks, days or down to the minute, the time you had left until your child turned 18. He continued, “There’s an app, too.” I knew about apps to countdown. ![]() I sipped my coffee as I tried not to cry. He clarified, “These marbles represent the weeks you have left with your child before they turn 18 and become adults.” The jovial tone in the room quickly turned to silence. Not in the way that is often expressed as being disorganized with thoughts. He bluntly told the room of parents that they were losing their marbles. “Core memories,” I thought to myself, evidence that clearly I’ve watched the movie, Inside Out too many times. “What are these?” he asked the room full of parents. The pastor asked the children to leave the room for their next session and as he prepared for the parenting session, he walked to the front of the room and held up a large glass jar of marbles. I sipped my coffee each time I felt the urge to cry. Nostalgic for my baby girl yet struck by the reality of time and impressed by the growth of my child. I was fragile and ready to crack into tears. It was a milestone for her, but instead of being a brave example, I felt weak and vulnerable. It was like Kindergarten Orientation all over again. It’s become a weird ritual I do when life is feeling too fast and I’m not sure how she got so big. I closed my eyes and thought about how I used to smell her head when she was a baby. ![]() She sat next to me, I put my arms around her and brought her close to my body and sniffed her hair. I wanted to make sure she could hear well and see the speakers. He agreed but stopped and looked at me with genuine concern and said, “I feel like the kids are growing up too fast.” I said to my husband that this time in our life felt good. They didn’t need us to entertain them, they were happy to play with each other. We watched our kids race after each other. ![]()
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